Education Moment: Friends and Colleagues

by Emma Tang
emmatang.com
design@emmatang.com

You’ve all heard me say my line about BNI – that I not only consider you my professional colleagues, but also my good friends and confidants. Because isn’t it easier to refer a friend rather than just “someone in your networking group”? 

Well I don’t think this education moment is going to go in the direction that you think it is. Because no, sometimes it’s NOT easier to refer a friend. Because with our friends we get relaxed, our friends sometimes see our sloppy side. We might be late meeting a friend for a dinner or tell an inappropriate joke or do a myriad of things that you would NEVER do at the workplace – or at least things you shouldn’t do at the workplace.

So here’s the problem with BNI. We’ve become friends. All of us. I’d consider you all my friends. If any one of you called me up and needed something, I’d be there for you. We’re friends. But at the same time, we’re referral partners. And the goal of BNI, the goal of being in this zoom room week after week, repeating our commercials to the same people, is to foster trust, accountability, and credibility. So if you assume that it’s ok to be late for a meeting because “we’re friends” or it’s not a problem if you’re late with a payment because “we’re friends”, or you show up to a zoom meeting looking sickly because you’ve got the flu, or you accidentally send an e-mail that was supposed to be to a single recipient and instead you reply-all with an inappropriate gif, that could make you an untrustworthy referral partner. Because in the back of our minds, we’re thinking “well if this person does this in front of me, imagine what they might do in front of a client I would recommend.” So despite the fact that “we’re friends” I might not give you referrals based on your behavior. 

If you start getting a negative reputation in BNI, it’s hard to get it back. So make sure to show off your best professional side. 

It is important to me that no one in this group have a single doubt that if they refer me to someone that they know that I would exceed their expectations and make them look good. 

But here’s the thing…there’s a way to be friends, while being professional. I’ve seen members of this chapter let loose during happy hour. But do I have any doubt that those members would take exceptional care of my clients? No. Because when it counts, in professional settings, they are on top of their game and their field. 

So what’s the conclusion of this education moment? It’s more than just “be on time, be professional” – it’s about taking BNI seriously because the impression you make on us, will determine our comfort level in recommending you to our referral network. Don’t think “oh, it’s just Emma, I’ll just text her that I’m running a few minutes late, she won’t mind.” And you’re right, I won’t mind, because we’re friends….but I might think twice before referring you. 

Referrability is the #1 most important thing in BNI – and if you’re not referable, you’re not getting referrals. So check yourself and wonder whether the look that you’re giving off in BNI is the same look that you want to give off to your clients.

Photo credit: Peter Dressel Photography